City of Ruin by Lindsey Pogue

Author:Lindsey Pogue [Pogue, Lindsey]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Roar Press LLC

27

GREYSON

It’s nearly midnight by the time I’m able to unwind. My arms and shoulders are sore from working in the fields long past nightfall. I told myself the work needed to be done to stay on track for Killian’s arrival. But there’s no denying the hum of anticipation and unease I feel around the little governess, under her searing blue, reproachful gaze. The self-loathing I feel in her presence is proof of that. Especially after today.

It’s far easier to be the ferocious brute she thinks I am when she’s spewing unfounded accusations at me. But when her chin trembles and her eyes shine with unbridled gratitude, it’s almost too much to bear. Hope—dangerous and infectious as it is—rears its treacherous head once more.

Hope that Selene could be happy here.

Hope that she might see me as something more than a master . . . more than a monster.

Hope that I can let go of what was in order to save what could be. What has to be.

But the past tangles and writhes alongside the guilt at the very thought, and groaning, I refuse to give in to it. Submerging myself in the scalding bathwater, I try to ease the tension in my neck and shoulders.

Even as I refuse to dwell too much on possible futures, my drifting thoughts conjure a fiery young woman, whose flaxen hair is as unruly as she is. Who is as pigheaded as she is courageous, and as hard-edged and cynical as she is innocent.

But Selene is not innocent. That was taken from her the moment she stepped foot in Bedlam, perhaps even before then.

The Orsons’ reputation was what took me to the orphanage to begin with, and seeing her, I knew I could not leave her behind with a man like Perry. Imagining that bastard’s hands anywhere near the little governess makes my rage roil, and that she would consider life under his roof more bearable than mine was a cleaver to my soul in ways she couldn’t possibly fathom.

You are no better than him, a voice whispers, and when I can no longer bear the stillness, I rise from the water, letting the chill in the room accost my skin. I cannot be here, in this house. I yearn for air, for space, and I reach for the towel to scrub the dampness away, along with every reason I know I should seriously consider taking Selene as my wife.

For Paige. To secure my future. To secure everyone’s future.

For me. That last thought makes me sicken.

After donning a clean shirt and trousers, I brace my hands against the fireplace, staring into the dancing flames. The answer to all of my problems sleeps three doors away. What will you do next, Blackburn?

Clenching my fists, I know I must choose, even if the thought of what comes next sours my stomach. Despite those condemning blue eyes I can’t get out of my head, my lineage must come first, or all of this is for nothing.

As if I need

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